The moment you know your going to die is a bit mind shattering. Sometimes its hard to get your mind around. I don't know, things are starting to finally change. I mean lots of things that were going wrong now seem to be going right again. How does one explain it. There are so many factors that haven't even been addressed. My feelings of being wanted to be loved are fading away. Right now I'm being smothered to death by it. I can't even express my dissatisfaction with the whole idea of it. I know I'd had hoped for such a devotion but I didn't expect this. what does one make of such things. How does one get through the day? This is the mystery I face everyday. The uncertainty of how you feel or how your supposed to feel about things? This escapes me now. I'm uncertain if this is the right course of action but we shall see.
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