Saying Good Bye

Saying good bye

And drink a bottle of anything

To make everything ok

Just got to get through another hour

And I could live without you.

Maybe it's for the best

That we move on

I hope we could make things ok

I hope you loved me as I loved you.

June 1998

(Sandra)

Sunset

Beyond the horizon.

Above the trees, and the fading blue sky.

Blue to dark blue to black.

Just like a blur into the furthest thought.

Yellow and orange fighting for each ounce

Of color.

White merging in somewhere.

It's then I realize I lost the distance it made me

Feel, and found a certain comfort in the moment.

A certain ease.

Dec 11/12

Dancer

Drifting, soaring high in the sky.

Turning, twisting, sharp moves.

Floating, on the soft warm breeze.

Dancing with the birds.

Swimming in the blue ocean of the sky.

Elegant, graceful, beautiful.

Dec 10/12

Anxiety

This slow breathing is helping.

Making me feel a little better.

Still wanna ball my eyes out.

Emotionally charged it feels like.

Almost getting mad and having the

Shakes.

Like you can't calm down.

Uncomfortable in my skin.

Stop thinking about it.

That's making it worst.

Heavy chested it feels like.

As if someone is standing on you.

Digging in.

Twisting into the nerves and joints.

This pain aches.

I forgot about the breathing.

Lets start again.

Dec 5/12

This

What is this?

This thing we call?

This is outrageous,

This moment,

This hope that this is a good idea?

This isn't happening,

This, this, to me.

This is the end,

I told you this would happen,

Did you listen to this?

Are you listening to this.

This is it I had it!

Dec 3/12

Hands on your hips

Walking through a large group of people

And I found myself walking between you and

Some stranger.

I turn toward you and move in-between

I place my hands on your hips.

You look up at me and smile then sigh.

I looked at you and for a moment we stood

There in each others arms.

Forgetting to move pass each other.

Sort of lost in this daze.

It felt normal to be in her arms.

I think she felt the same.

We awkwardly start to pull away

From each other.

The spell was broke.

But the ghost feeling lingers like

A kiss on the lips.

Lost in a moment. . .

Nov 28/12

Too much confusion

What is going on?

What is happening?

Are you happy?

are you sad?

Maybe lonely?

Or just plan mad?

Just feeling forgotten?

Sometimes not considered?

What did you expect?

Maybe we should have dinner?

Trade what we know.

Understand how things stand.

What happened to those people?

You know the ones we did that

Thing with.

I don't know?

I don't know?

If you don't talk to each other

You will never know.

What's going on?

Nov 26/12

Understand Me

I want to be understood.

I want to show you something that's never been seen.

I want to watch you listen

To me.

I want to touch your hand.

I want to make love to you.

I want you to make love to me.

I want to make it more.

I want to go places with you.

I want to go to forgotten things.

I want to go to the beach.

I want to dance in the sun.

I want to kiss you in the rain.

I want so much.

Nov 21/12

Saturday

It's not Monday.

It's not Tuesday or Wednesday.

Thursday is getting close.

Friday is the tease that stands between

You and Saturday.

Saturday. Oh Saturday!

The day you hang out, relax, shop.

Anything you really want.

But the there is Sunday.

The forgotten day!

Day of rest, and reflection.

The day you have to straighten up,

Pull yourself together.

Then this cycle starts again.

Once more around.

Nov 17/12

Trapped In The Current

Swimming across the river.

Almost to the other side.

Getting tired

But feeling so close.

The current is getting stronger.

Hard to keep going.

I feel myself being pulled out.

I can feel myself slipping away.

Harder to move forward.

Something in my head tells me it's better to go with the flow.

I can feel myself slipping away.

Riding the current into oblivion.

Gulps of water replace the air.

Sounds become less.

Light is in the distance.

I almost reached the end.

I can feel myself being pulled from the water.

The exhausting breath, tired flesh, the mind broken.

I don't know why but I'm still here.

I guess that will always remain is that question.

Why am I still here?

Nov 7/12

Diner Talk

Outside on the windy street corner

I walk past the diner that looks like

Something from the 50's.

Even the food smells like it's from then.

I see this decked out lady with great gams.

She asks me if I'm looking for something.

I said just looking to see what comes my way.

She said well on your journey head over to

Sassy Kitties. You get a eye full there.

I thought to myself. Why not?

I headed over to where she had told me it was.

A guy on a motorbike drives by.

Some drunk young guys, just off work on the other side of the street.

I had this feeling I was getting close.

I saw this building with this big guy watching

The door and this smaller guy taking the money.

Rocco and Tiny.

They told me that Calamity was about to take the stage.

I thought ok, it was just going to be another show.

I thought it would be just like the ones before.

I get this waitress Angie, she a little pistol.

She want me to do shots between her tits and
she said if I spilled I had to lick her clean.

I thought that could be fair.

Great tits.

Nov5/12

Come To Pass

We walk our distances to get to places.

We meet new people along the way.

Some join us as we walk together.

Some bid us fair well and live on in our

Memories and in our hearts.

What we experience along the way is with

Us as we live our lives.

We can always go back in thought and

Remember the times as you remember them.

Forever in thought.

Nov 04/12

Will you remember me

Will you remember me?

The slow glances, the smiles,
The laughing at your bad jokes?
Or will you remember the way
I would hold your hand, touch your
Face, or the way that I would hold you
In my arm’s.
I love the smell of your hair.
Burring myself in those long curls.
Finding your swan-like neck,
softly pressing my lips against
your inviting flesh.
Your voice lingers in my ears.
Your beauty steals my soul.
But will you remember me in
The morning?
Will you remember at all?

Nov 02/12

Mr. Bitterness

I can feel your bitterness
I sense you are focusing your dissatisfaction
With your life on me.
I don’t deserve that.
What did I ever do to you?
I’ve been nice and friendly.
See I play well with others.
Why can’t you?
I can feel your bitterness.

Nov 01/12

Blackout Bliss

What happened?

I don't remember?

Sounds and flashing lights.

The smell of campfires in the air.

The hint of bug spray to give it

That tear gas odor.

The beats of some electro swing

Drives the soul to dance.

Feel the moment as a warm embrace.

Feeling it like hands on a woman's Breast,

Soft orbs, hard nipples, sensuous desire.

Softly rubbing lips against them.

Tugging pulling.

Rising flesh, heated passion.

Taking you in.

Thrusting, bringing you into bliss.

Blacking out from exhaustion.

Then waking up later wondering what happen?

Then knowing, and it was good.

Oct 27/12

That Little Colour

Through the cracks in the dark miserable clouds.

The sun pushes its way through.

All it's warmth,

All it's joy,

For just one second.

Its there that my soul felt loved.

For just a second.

Just like flame of a candle in a open window

With a slight gust of air and it's gone.

Soft blue, rapturish red, happy yellow, and

Soft glowing ornage.

They will haunt my memories till we meet

Again. . .

Oct 24/12

I want nothing

I want nothing to do with you.

Humor is not necessary.

I just don't like you.

As most have never spoken a word

To me,some call me their friend.

I want nothing to do with you.

Did you hear what I said?

Have I spoken in some language

That is alien to you?

Are these words to hard to understand?

What is it that you can't grasp?

Is it my lack of expression?

My vacant stare at you.

Wondering how you survive everyday?

Breathing the air you do.

There is no reason to be around you.

Believe me I've tried.

It's hard to engage someone who is a 

Wall of defense and fear.

It's hard to get a opening in that Facade.

Scared,and freighted that the world is Nothing but a place of disappointment.

Oct 19/12

Once was a boy

There was once this boy

Who was very special,

He was so special that people

Stayed away from him incase they make him sick.

He was very lonely.

But he had his books.

And they took him everywhere.

One day his mom brought him a pile of old books.
He was curious to see what the books were.
Encyclopedia, medical textbooks, or some sort of mass media thing.

But there was so many books that he fell asleep on them.

There his father found him and picked him up in his arms and took him to his bed.

He tucked him in and kissed the boy on his forehead.

What the boy dreamed of was a mystery? But he was happily

Asleep in the other place that he was happy.

Oct.2012

Race Track

Rumbling through the streets of downtown

Today yesterday, and now.

Chasing each light, hoping it stays green,

First one turns yellow, drive, drive, faster, faster

I made it.

Till the next light, keeps the speed going.

Oct 16/12

Lost in the translation

Эта страсть это молчание желание это чувство их руки, касаясь ваше лицо.
Вы чувствуете себя почти опьянения от этой Drugged как Реал страсти ваши так красиво...

This passion

This silent desire

This feeling of their hand touching your face.

You feeling almost intoxicated from this

Drugged-like-real passion

Your so beautiful. . .

Oct 11/12

Between The Leaves

Hey Did you ruffle those leaves,
You know beneath the bushes.
The place where the pretty girl's
Once sun bathed in the nude.
The sky looked deep blue.
Yes, you can almost swim forever
In that blue and never feel cold.
Sometimes there is a oasis of white
In the distance that you can never reach.

Oct.09/12

Teenage Ramblings

Listening to the words of a teenage boy.

Fourteen to be exact.

The off tone, the greasy hair,

the bad idea that seems good.

Zoned out watching YouTube video's

Playing video games.

Everything seems awkward and angst.

Doing stupid things as my friends father

Would say to all of us.

But really they are just trying to find

There own voice on the reality of their

Life.

Sept 26/12

See the suffering mind

See the suffering mind

as you cling to the edge of oblivion.

It claws at your brain

It hides in the deep dark shadowy places that you pretend to not see.

Terror on the edge of a wine glass.

Trama In your thoughts.

Desperate to be fixed.

Desperate to be loved.

Poison is the well. . . 

Sept 21/12

Waiting For The Sun

The frost hugging the blades of grass this morning.
Icy vapour from my breath.
Cold nipping at my wet hair.
The sun hasn’t come up yet, but on the horizon
I see the fire edging it way towards the sky.
Burn, Burn, Burn.
I want the warmth to return.
Where is my fire in the sky?
Burn, Burn, Burn.
I want the heat that my soul swims in.
Dance on fire through the rain.

Sept 14/12

Don't You Understand?

Don’t you understand?
Those actions speak louder than words.
Your actions tell us what you think and what you feel.
It makes us feel like we’re second fiddle.
You call us friends, but a friend of convenience it seems.
If we choose to hang out then we will.
Not under your thumb.
But ours.
All I can say is,
Silence is better than bullshit.

Sept 14/12

Autumns Breath

The sound of tree branches thrashing

Against my widows.

The wind subsides for a moment then picks

Up.

Cool is the air that floods this moment.

As I sit in the sunroom watching the summer

Die and the birth of Autumn.

Silently the leaves fall in a thunderous

Crash.

I taste the fire from the farmers fields,

And the end of the song birds singing, replace

With the cawing of the raven and the quacking of

The geese.

This is the end of long days at the beach.

This is warm bonfires with friends, snuggles

And cold nose kisses.

This is the Summers End

Sept 12/12

Don't Touch Me!

Don’t touch me!
I don’t want to feel you anymore.
I don’t want to feel your warmth when you’re near.
I don’t want this fake feeling of passion.
I don’t want to feel your soft skin
It aches me with every touch.
You sadden me.
There was a moment when everything was good.
But your true self bubbled to the surface.
And when we were just together it feels like a moment of
chance.
But the hope of us is lost in the disappointment
That you shared with me.
Lost in those eyes.
Lost in the hope of something that could have been.
Don’t Touch Me. . .

Sept 06/12

Holding Back The Snow

Bitterly cold winds blow from the north
Summer where have you gone?
Kids start back at the dreaded school.
Their reprise for a break is over.
What is left for the year?
What do we expect?
What do we want?
More summer would be nice.
Maybe a little heat a bit longer.
Let’s hold back the snow.
Let’s hold it back.

Sept 08/12

Social Media Experiment

I’m tired of this social media experiment that we are all
Trapped in.
Friends are not really friend because they just check out
Your status and postings, not really interacting with people
Let alone you.
Who am I? Am I just someone who seems cool for a moment?
How do you make an effort when no one really does?
One by one remove those that don’t really know me.
Those that make the effort will message or see me.
But those that don’t will fall by the way side.
They will be forgotten.
So I end this social media experiment.

Sept 04/12

The Ringing Bells of Wentworth

The sound is silent.

Nothing fills the air.

Whispers in another room

could be heard.

The sound of cars fill the outside.

The distant sounds merge.

Then, out of nowhere.

The alarm.

The ringing that jars you from you deep

Slumber.

Anger, pissed off, why oh why does it

Happen now?

The bells at wentworth. . .

Aug 26/12

In The Park

Laying in the park with the burning hot
Sun beating down upon me.
The blue sky is sharp and feels icy crisp.
The white fluffy clouds keep changing
To new and strange images.
The sound of children playing on the
Play structures near by.
A older couple walk there dog and a young
Couple making out on a blanket.
Life feels good.

Aug 24/12

Sat Down On The Sofa With You

You snuggled up to me to watch a movie.
My arm around you, softly touch your shoulders.
An hour into the movie I noticed you fell asleep.
I waited till the movie was over to wake you.
You woke up because there was no sound from the TV.
You looked around, yawned, and then got up to go to bed.
I followed shortly after.
By time I got to bed you had already fell asleep.
Busy work week. I let you sleep.
You snore like a little dragon.

Aug 24/12

Can't Sleep

Laying there in the dark,

Staring at the ceiling,

Trying to settle this restless mind,

Trying to calm things down.

I have a headache and my eyes

Are starting to hurt.

Like they are to dry from not blinking.

My body feels like it is on fire.

Hot, sweaty, with a touch of dry mouth.

A cool breeze from the fan helps,

If only for a second.

Maybe if I just lay here I would

Fall asleep.

Close my eyes.

Just close them.

You'll see, you'll see. . .

Aug 23/12

Deep Bliss

I see them touching you.
Their soft hands, their pouty lips,
The lusting in Their eyes.
We all are smile from the excitement.
The anticipation.
How we want each other.
How we share the passion between us.
You touch her, I touch you, everyone
Touching each other.
We are passion together.
We take turns feeding our hungers,
Our wants.
Somebody orgasms from someone’s touch.
Pressing lips, sliding tongues.
They want to go further. They want to feel
Everything.
They want to feel it inside them.
Each of them take their turn.
First one then the other.
Each time they are brought to pleasure.
I feel someone take my hand and hold it tightly.
I feel myself getting excited.
My climax starts. I check to see what they want to do?
Someone climbs on top of me to finish me off.
The other moves so I can taste them and
Get them off while I am.
Everyone climaxes with each other.
We all cuddle and kiss and we drift off into a blissful sleep. . .

Aug 23/12

You Don't Even Know Me

You cannot say I love you.
Pushed aside are those words.
You don’t even know me.
You see my face and body online.
A word isn’t spoken between us.
How do I know you’re not a killer?
A stalker or a person I just won’t like?
These are things I think about.
Get to know me.
Talk to me.
It’s a beginning.

Aug 21/12

Faded Memories

Old pictures and old memories.
Faded times that had long been forgotten.
Your name rings a bell.
Your face is familiar but where do I know you?
Why did we loose touch?
Who were our friends?
I can’t recall how I know you.
Has it been that long?

Aug 21/12

It Doesn't Pay

Hold her hand.
Touch her.
Does she smile?
Does it feel forced?
Does it feel strange?
It feels so right, but its not.
She can see that you like her.
But how does she tell you
That you’re just friends.
Things will get weird.
Things will never be the same if
You cross that line.
The laughter, the good times, the shared
Memories and history with friends.
Everything is gone with these few words.
I like you.

Aug 21/12

More

Wanting more but can’t ask for it.
Wanting to show affection but can’t
Falling deep under your spell
Leaves me in a world of internal pain
Your eyes haunt me.
Icy blue pools that I swim in.
Your face so filled with expression
I’m left wanting more affection
But left hungering, wanting, waiting
You would let me hold you near
Forever is a eternity it seems in your arms
Would it be love or infatuation?
A little A or B
You can see it in my eyes
Wanting to say something
Wanting to say more
But can’t

Aug 21/12

What's It To You

Bliss, by any other name what is bliss?

Rise and drink me, share and bond,

or scream and fuck.

But what is bliss for you. . .

Aug 20/12

A Silhoutte of Beauty

Standing in the bathroom watching you have your shower.
The beads of water running over your skin.
The water is warm and embracing.
Hugging every inch of your beautiful body.
The smell of body wash fills the room.
I see you touching yourself through the shower curtains
A silhouette of beauty. . .

Aug 17/12

Self Exile

I feel the cool breeze as I sit down in the car.

Waiting for the driver to take me to the airport.

Great it starts to rain.

The radio is playing some very generic music.

The kind that you hear in nursing homes or

Barber shop that your grand parent goes too.

I close my eyes and I wish it doesn't take long.

I really want to leave.

I look at much watch, hoping that I can speed up time.

No avail.

We are held up by some lights and traffic.

I breath deep and sigh.

I don't think the driver see's that I'm getting

Impatient.

I keep telling myself in my head, it's ok, your leaving

Things are going to get better.

The car jerks me out of this day dream.

I look out the window and the airport is near.

I can see the planes.

I can almost feel everything pulling away from me

As I get further from here.

I get to the area the taxi drops me off at.

I get a baggage handle and they take care of my stuff.

I don't really care about it.

I go through the sliding doors and see the line at the

Check in booth.

I wait silently, eye flitting with the young girls in the other lines who are what I think are escaping too.

I get to the Che k out, run through all the normal things.

Get to the security line and go through that as the $12.50 an hour security gives me the look up and down.

I the to the flight attendant and he gives me my ticket back and shows me my seat. First class you know.

I wait in my seat.

Everything is taking forever.

As we traffic down the runway and lift with ease into

The air and into oblivion. . .

Aug 15/12

Hanging Pictures on the Wall

There is an area of emptiness
On your walls.
Something is missing?
What should it be?
Should it be a piece of art
That no one has but you?
A piece of something that
Once lived in my thought’s.
That once lived in my heart.
Now lives with you.
Should it say everything I feel?
Will it express that to you?
Will it be full of colour and life?
Or will it be black and white?
Find it within myself to say to you.
Words could never do.
This is for you. . .

Aug 14/12

The Mood That Drives You

The lights, the sirens.

The dog senselessly barking at things

That it senses or hears.

Grrrrrr

The one nerve.

That one annoyed Nerve that irritates everything inside.

Pissy, bitter, mad.

Yes I describe moments like that.

Jealous, resentful, sad.

Yes I feel that too.

I just want something in my head

To feel right.

I need just a moment to feel something

Buried deep inside me.

Take that slow Zenful breath in.

Hold it's gently and release it

Like blowing feathers off your finger tips.

The dog stopped barking.

Perhaps things are changing?

We shall see

Aug. 13/12

First Monkey in Space

First Monkey in Space

There the first tent goes up.

Then another.

The area seems to be filling up nicely.

It’s getting dark out.

Time to make a fire or find some flashlights.

Our Camping neighbour has mouse ears on, she cute.

Everyone is anxious to get this party started.

Some more people show up.

It’s getting crazier.

Right on!

Drinks come out.

People are getting louder.

Then the low rumble of music is playing.

The Verb Stage is ready to party.

Are we ready for this weekend?

We are.

We are ready!

Dance Monkey Dance!

Shoot our minds into space!

Getting into orbit.

Then Splash down days later.

Reality will set in later whenever it can catch up.

Till next year.

Aug 09/12

In The Window

In the window of my neighbor apartment

I see their cat given itself a bath.

Distracted by a bug flying by it path.

The as quickly as it came it disappeared.

The cat searched frantically for another.

No luck, back to bathing.

The cat notices someone up.

My thought is, maybe there food to be had.

Now it's just a empty window.

Waiting for the cat to return.

Aug 01/12

The Anticipation

There is the silent moment before the storm.
The anticipation of a moment on the edge of eternity.
I see the ebb and the flow.
The rising as each person comes and gets ready.
I hear the laughter of ladies talking to each other.
We are near.
It coming closer with each passing moment.

July 31/12

Maybe tonight I can get some Sleep

The sound of the fans revving
like a race car!
The sound is getting louder!
This heat, it never seems to end.
A brief dusting of rain to cool
The soul.
Trees try and drink their fill
Before its drys up.
The breeze from the window is
Cool and icy.
Maybe tonight I can get some
Sleep.

July 29/12

Pull Your Hair

You want me to pull your hair

And press my lips against your neck.

Touch your breast softly,

and rub your nipples.

Moving ever so slowly to your lips.

Your red velvet lips.

Tempting, hungering, wanting.

Tease with brushes and almost kisses.

Till I strike like a venomous snake.

Devouring you softly yet forcefully.

Pressing my hand down your pants.

Between your legs.

Between your panties.

Feeling your curls and your excitement.

I can see you enjoying this.

My touch, my kiss.

Was it everything you want?

Do you want me to go further?

Do you want me to stop.

Do you want me to move down

And show you something a lot?

between your legs.
Let's dance.

July 26/12

Unconventional dreams

Unconventional dreams of reality are
Like the shadows that dance on the wall at night,
From the street lights and the cars driving by my window.
I hear the neighbour yelling at his dog for tearing up the yard.
Its 12:30 at night.
The sound from the TV in the den is back on.
I guess the show didn’t end.
I wonder if this night will ever end?

July 26/12

No Longer Written In Stone

Do you see these words?
Written in light and pixels.
Dancing on your screen.
Hidden on your phone or pad.
Something that you can relate too.
Something that makes no sense.
Pretty pictures.
Wonderful colours.
No longer written in stone.
Something that taken and forgotten.
Do you see these words?

July 25/12

Direction

Direction.
What is your direction?
Where are you going?
Do you know where you are?
Is there someone you need to speak to?
What is it that you’re looking for?
Is it a person?
Is it a place?
Is it a state of mind?
Or is it just peace of mind?
Is it near or is it far?
What is it that you’re trying to find?
Can it be found?
Is it all in your head?
Does it want to be found by you?
What direction are you going?
What direction do you need?
Point me in the right direction.
Show me.

July 25/12

The Journey

Through the trees
Across the field
Over the stream
Down the road
Running then walking
Faster then slower
Almost there
Almost done
Can almost see
Home. . .

July 23/12

Don't Look, Try Not To See

Tumbling on ideas of a moments that have long past.
Thinking it safe to look back and remember, without problems,
Without any worries, without any regrets.
Trying to keep the water unstirred, so I cannot notice myself
Looking.
But I looked with curious eyes.
To see, to wonder.
The feeling is unsettling to my nerves.
Kind of like seeing a person undress and they catch you looking
At them.

July 24/12

On My Skin

I can feel your hands on my skin.
Touching every inch.
Probing places you like and I like.
I can feel you touching me.
I can feel your breath on my shoulders.
I can feel you wanting more.
I should let you touch me further.
Feel me deeper, making your blood race.
I'm yours. . .

July 23/12

Last Nights Passion

Did you wake up this morning and wonder
where I went?
The emptiness left beside you leave a certain
sad feeling.
Do you remember the soft passionate kisses,
or our hands locking together?
Were you overwhelmed? Were you taking in by
what we shared.
That feeling of me pressing against you,
between your legs, from behind, my lips and tongue
discovering you.
My hands touching your soft orbs of flesh,
grabbing your hips for the final thrust.
Felling myself explode in you.
Feeling you satisfied by what I gave you.
You dripping with our essence.
The hot sweaty enjoyment of each other.
You passing out.
Finding yourself falling asleep in my arms.
dreaming like a cat, smiles and purring.

July 23/12

Hey are you sleeping?

Hey are you sleeping?
Or are your eyes closed cause there something in it?
Should I bounce around the bed trying to jar you from this “sleep”
Your in?
Don’t you wanna see my cute smile,
Or hear another witty story about nothing.
Or should I just lay there looking beautiful?
Hey are you sleeping?

June 19/12

This confusion

Waking up in the morning never occurred to
Me until I had to get a job.

Work work work.

Mind you I didn't work very hard.

I kind of saw it as that thing I do,

Or that place that I hang out for 8 hrs

And talk to people that sometimes

We're interesting, or cute.

But mostly I just passed time there.

Lately I wake up, a little more

Confused, a little more sore, just something

I do as clockwork, without question,

I just do.

But these lapses.

These regrettable moments that drive

Everyone crazy.

I don't realize them sometimes.

I'm told it's like having a conversation

With a four year old.

Makes me wonder.

But I realize that I have no answers for

My inquires.

I'm just to take things on faith?

Laugh at myself?

Accept that I'm becoming flawed like everyone

Else.

Confusion.

A moment of uncertainty enters my mind.

Ok I realize that I don't want to hear this

Right now, put it off till later.

Oh later is now.

Oh. . .

July 18/12