Complications

One day I will
Have people I will want
To call.
To do things with.
Maybe have a common interest.
I feel I don't have this.
I have friends but I don't
Feel I can talk to them,
Or they just tolerate me.
So I guess not really friends then.
But I'm told they are friends.
I will take it as I always do.
Closed eyes, opened arms.
One day.
I will find myself and what I want.
I lost myself a long time ago.
I didn't like me. I'm a better man
Now.
I'm tired of all these games.
I'm wanting so much but I can
Never say what it is, but I feel it.
I am self suffering.
I am trying to hurt myself so I can feel.
Push you away.
Leave me alone but hold me as I cry.
I need. . .
I need. . .
Something to ease.
No more pain!

June 02/13



Quae Nocent Docent.. . . All things painful teach us new ways.